Today was absolutely horrible.
I'm not going to say much. I just know I went through a hell of a lot. Things I shouldn't have had to go through in the first place. And the end result was me feeling extremely hurt, angry, shocked, and upset. Im not even going to explain. I dont even remember much of it to begin with. Thats what happens when Courty goes through shit. She blocks it out, without realizing and isnt able to remember it. I just know it was bad. And he dropped me pretty damn hard this time. Bout time I shattered. Gotta love being fragile.
Anyways, I feel incredibly dead. Im like a zombie. My head is killing me. I only slept 3 hours last night. I cried so much in the past three days, Im not even sure Im able to cry anymore. Although I know it'll happen. Cuz thats me.... I cry so fricken often! I wouldnt mind much if I was just, crying a bit here and there. But no, the past three days have been like, full out bawling my eyes out for like 10-15 minutes at a time. Its so draining! Last night before I finally fell asleep, it was 35-40 minutes straight. Gah! I hate the feeling after though. Im like, depressed feeling. Just wanna lay there and stare. Dont wanna be bothered. Just wanna lay there, staring at the ceiling, with no emotions shown. Dead. Thats it. Dead like.
Theres nothing much left to me anymore. Well, thats how it feels atleast. Maybe things will change after today though. Ive gone through quite a bit. Cant expect me to be fine. So I guess we'll see.
I hate this feeling though. I dont want to face tomorrow. Nor do I want to face the rest of today....
This is much more difficult than I thought.
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And I speak to you through shadows. Cuz my world seems so unclear...
About Me
- Miss.Courty
- Well, I'm Courtney. I am 19 years old. I'm in love with a girl. She means the world to me. I write poetry. I like music and abstract art. I love photography and the outdoors - especially combined. I'm pretty down to earth. There's not much really to me.
2 comments:
Love,
I know how you feel. we've all been there before. We're all fragile in our own ways. You can fall off the shelf, but I'll be the pillow on the floor that will try and catch it. Should I not be in range, Sammy, (sorry for volunteering but i know she would), will be the couch, covering a wide spread.
You have people who care. Fuck all the negative, block it out... I can tell you that.. but it's easier said than done. Just know that you have people that you can talk to, even if you think you can't.
Ciao for now,
Pierre
Deary Ms.
i is sorry for day was horrible but today is a new day! and tomorrow will be another....
so i say with a heart full of love and care! the awesome 3 will always be ur net to fall in.. eveeeeeeen if were jumpin from the skies !! i heart you ms. bunny mc courtie "always be there for ya" even if the ground is shook.
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